Do you ever feel influenced by others to go back to past mistakes?
Have you ever worked hard to quit making the same mistakes or committing the same sins and finally got your life cleaned up and straightened out? Then someone, maybe even an old friend, tries to pull you back into that old lifestyle, and you feel negatively influenced by others to do things you don’t want to do.
It can be a pretty hard situation to deal with. But there are things you can do and new ways to think that will help you not to let others have a negative influence on you.
So how do we do this? How do we stop letting other people influence us to do things we don’t want to do?
It can be hard because sometimes these people are your friends and even your family members, but they don’t understand that you’ve gone through a change and you’re trying to get your life put together.
My question for you is: Does a true friend try to get you to do something bad?
I think it helps to understand where these people might be coming from. They want someone else to go along with what they’re doing. Sometimes they know it’s wrong, but they’re doing it anyway. Because if you go along with them, it somehow makes them feel better if you do it, too. But you don’t have to do that.
Learning to say No
I would suggest making a list of all the people who are a good influence and a bad influence on your life and quit hanging out with the people who are bad influences. You have to learn to say “No” to these people. Are you trying to please them or are you trying to please God? At some point, as I said, you have to say “No,” and then really think about these people who can be a good influence on you and be with them.
You may have heard this before. I’ve heard it lots of places that you’re a combination of the five people you spend the most time with, because we are influenced by the people we spend the most time with. So be careful who you’re associating with.
Then start noticing the patterns, the people and the situations that trigger you to go back to an old sin or an old way of living or thinking or speaking that you don’t want to do anymore. Try to notice those patterns and then be aware of them, be alert to them.
Think about them ahead of time so that when you see them, you sort of see a little red flag and you don’t get tricked or fooled by them.
Inmates afraid of being influenced by others
In my prison ministry, a lot of the inmates I work with are really afraid when they get out of prison that they’ll go right back into their old lifestyle because their friends will want to see them and they don’t want to be influenced by others in the negative way by those people because that’s what got them into prison in the first place.
So it’s really important to think about who you’re going to hang out with. I would also suggest to make a list of some of the activities or the ways of thinking that you don’t want to participate in anymore and maybe think about why you participated in them.
What was it giving you? It maybe gave you a sense of community, a sense of belonging, a sense of importance, a sense of authority or power.
Well, you can find positive communities to be in where you can contribute all of the qualities, all the talents and abilities you have in a positive way and help other people in the process.
Pray ahead of time not to be influenced by others
Something that’s really helped me is to pray ahead of time. Like if you’re about to go somewhere or you’re going to go to an event or meet somebody for dinner or just to hang out. Pray ahead of time. This line from the Lord’s Prayer, “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”
I think it’s important to pray ahead of time instead of when you catch yourself in a situation. If you prayed up beforehand, it’s sort of like putting on your spiritual armor and you can resist those temptations.
And here’s the point. That line says, “Lead us not into temptation.” You’re not just praying for yourself, but you’re also praying for the people who are trying to influence you to do something wrong. Include them in your prayers. Pray for them to be protected and find a better way to live their lives.
Basically, it comes down to you have to take a stand to do what you know in your heart is right, and you can do this with God’s help. I love this verse. In First Corinthians 2:16, Paul says, “We have the mind of Christ.”
That means you right now. You have the mind of Christ. You have the ability to think and act and live and love like Jesus did.
Now, the more you embrace the mind of Christ as your own (I like to call it the mindset of Jesus), and you see yourself and other people from that perspective, you are going to find the inner strength to resist all these temptations wherever they come from and not be influenced by others.
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Photo Credit: stockcake.com
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James Early, the Jesus Mindset Coach, is a Bible teacher, speaker, and church mentor. He conducts Bible workshops online and in person. His focus is on getting back to the original Christianity of Jesus by learning to think, pray, and love like Jesus. Contact him here.
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