When someone won’t forgive you
Have you ever apologized to someone but they won’t forgive you?
They’re still feeling hurt or betrayed and they just can’t bring themselves to forgive you.
It’s really a pretty lousy feeling. And sometimes it feels like you can’t get on with your own life until there’s some reconciliation or you get that relationship healed. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen.
So what do you do in a case like that? How do you pray? And what do you do when someone won’t forgive you?
Well, that’s what we’re talking about this week on Freedom Friday.
Well, it’s wonderful when someone does forgive you for something you’ve done wrong, but it doesn’t always happen.
Something I’ve realized though, is if someone does forgive you but you don’t have your own repentance and spiritual transformation, their forgiveness won’t really make that much difference in your life. And if it does, it’s because you’re depending on what others think of you more than depending on God for what you need and to feel a sense of forgiveness.
What do you do when someone won’t forgive you?
So what do you do? How do you pray when someone won’t forgive you?
Well, first of all, I think you need to ask God if there’s anything else you need to do, or can do or say to make things right with the other person. Did you take full responsibility for what you did?
If you’ve done all you can, then you can rest in that.
And in the meantime, keep praying for that person. And don’t just pray for them, bless them. And you can forgive them for not forgiving you.
Put it in God’s hands
At some point when you know you’ve done everything you can and you’ve said every prayer possible and you’ve tried every way you can to reach out to that person and they won’t even talk to you or they won’t forgive you, At some point you just have to put it in God’s hands, you have to turn it completely over to God and say, “God, I’ve done everything I can, everything I know to do. If there’s something else I need to do, please let me know. But in the meantime, I just have to turn it over to you, God, because I just don’t know what else to do.”
Something that’s really helped me in these situations is to remember that true forgiveness comes from God.
It is wonderful, as I said earlier, when someone else does forgive you and they see your repentance and they see your changed heart and they forgive you, but it doesn’t always happen.
So when that’s the situation, remember, true forgiveness comes from God.
Focus on your relationship with God when they won’t forgive you
Work on your relationship with God. Become more aware of your identity. Focus on your identity as a child of God and working on your relationship with God.
Because when you have sinned and done something to hurt someone else, it’s really a sin against God. You have broken one of His laws. You could say, now that sounds pretty extreme, but you’ve done something that’s not right.
You need to restore your relationship with God as well. If somebody else won’t forgive you, you can always work that sense of forgiveness out with God. Because true forgiveness comes directly from God.
And Jesus says, if you forgive others, God will forgive you. When you feel God’s forgiveness, then you can leave that other person, you can trust that other person, that won’t forgive you, in God’s care. You can put them in God’s hands and rest in that.
Sometimes all you can do is then just let go of it.
Get on with your own life
The really important thing is to get on with your own life. Don’t let someone else’s lack of forgiveness keep you from going forward, keep you from growing and learning to love more and learning to be more humble, living your life the way God wants you to, fulfilling God’s purpose in your own life.
Don’t let anybody else’s lack of spiritual progress keep you back. Because God has a purpose for you. God has a plan for you.
He is ready and willing and able at all moments and to envelop you in His forgiveness.
Now, these are just a few ideas to kind of get you started in this process.
When they won’t forgive you, don’t give up
When you’re dealing with someone who won’t forgive you, there is an answer. Keep praying about it. Keep trusting God, all these things we’ve talked about.
And I would love to hear from you how you have prayed about this. If there’s something that’s been helpful to you in this process, and if you’ve experienced some transformation in your own life, the difference it’s made in your life. Or maybe if someone eventually did forgive you, I would love to hear from you.
Don’t give up when someone else won’t forgive you. There is still an answer. God’s forgiveness is there, right there, waiting for you. And you can experience God’s forgiveness and live your life the way God wants you to.
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James Early, the Jesus Mindset Coach, is a Bible teacher, speaker, and church mentor. He conducts Bible workshops online and in person. His focus is on getting back to the original Christianity of Jesus by learning to think, pray, and love like Jesus. Contact him here.
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