Are you loving your neighbor so they know it?
It’s easy to sit in your prayer chair loving your neighbor as yourself. You may be thinking specifically of one or more people you need to or want to love. It maybe someone you already love. Or it could be someone who is difficult to love and you realize you need to get past your personal opinions of them and the way they’ve behaved in the past and just love them. Or it could be you’re praying in a broad general way to love all mankind.
And in the process you realize you need to love yourself as well.
All these efforts to love your neighbors are so important, but sitting there in your prayer chair with this expanded sense of love can get a little theoretical or abstract at times. You may feel a genuine and deep affection for these people but what are you doing to show this love to the people you’re trying to love?
Don’t get me wrong, it’s incredibly important to feel this love for people, but that’s not really enough. There’s an equal need to express this love. If people don’t know you love them, how is that a blessing to them?
Do people know you love them?
The question for us all to answer is: How do people know that we love them?
How do your family and friends know you love them? How about the folks at church, at school, or at work?
And what about the people in your life you don’t love? They may be very aware that you don’t love them, or maybe they aren’t aware of how you feel. As you pray to begin loving these previously unloved people, how will they know you now love them?
The answer is pretty simple on one level. It has a lot to do with how you live your life, how you treat them, how you interact with them, the nice things you do for them.
It’s the way you listen to them, help them solve problems, support them in tough times. Sometimes it’s as simple as a genuine smile when you see them.
Loving your neighbor so they know it
It’s never just words. Actions speak much louder than words. I love this verse:
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18 NIV
That’s really letting someone know you love them.
When do you feel loved? How do you know when someone loves you? Think of the last time someone did something nice for you, helped you, were there when you needed support. How did that make you feel? That’s a taste of what love is.
When Jesus saw crowds of people, whether they were coming to listen to him or just busy going about their daily lives, he didn’t classify them as hopeless, miserable sinners that were going to hell unless they believed in him. He didn’t avoid them because of the problems they had.
When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Matthew 9:36 NIV
Think just a minute how you would feel if you were a sheep without a shepherd. You would probably feel harassed and helpless, afraid for your safety, not knowing what to do or where to go.
How did Jesus love people?
Basically, Jesus saw that people needed help and there was no one helping them solve their problems. That observation prompted the overflow of the love that was already in his heart and it moved him with compassion.
So, Jesus loved the multitudes. But was that enough? What if Jesus has just stayed on the side of the road and just loved everyone from where he was and never talked to anyone or shared his message of the kingdom of heaven with them? How would they have ever known he loved them so much?
How did people know Jesus loved them?
Feeling valued by Jesus
He took time to be with them and teach them. He was patient with them. He spoke to them with words of encouragement and empowerment. He assured them of their worth in God’s eyes and their value in the world. He said to his listeners,
You are the salt of the earth…
You are the light of the world. Matthew 5:13, 14 NIV
Salt was considered very valuable and light was precious.
How do you feel when someone acknowledges your value?
How else did people know Jesus loved them? He healed them.
Not loved by Rome or religious leaders
Imagine you lived in the time of Jesus where you felt downtrodden by the presence of Roman soldiers occupying your homeland. Imagine a religious climate where the religious leaders were dictatorial and legalistic. How would you be seen and treated by the people in positions of political and religious authority? Would you feel loved by them?
It was probably not a very positive experience for most of the population.
Who else besides Jesus was telling the everyday person on the streets that they were loved and cherished by God? Who else was spending time with them, encouraging, helping, and healing them?
No one.
Jesus set the example for loving your neighbor
So how did they know Jesus loved them? Because he cared about them, listened to them, and healed them. Instead of giving them religious and theological platitudes, he taught them a faith and a way of life they could put into practice and see the immediate fruits of.
For example:
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Matthew 5:9 NIV
He was saying: you can be a peacemaker and it will make a difference.
This was a promise of something they could do and be blessed by. All the beatitudes were actually another way Jesus was showing his listeners their value and abilities. And as a result, they felt loved.
And Jesus was consistent. He was not a helicopter Messiah, swooping down one day and gone the next. He continued to express his love in these tangible ways throughout his entire ministry, never limiting or withholding his love.
Are you loving your neighbor?
So how can you and I follow his example? How can we begin to love the way he did?
First of all, you have to admit it’s possible to love like Jesus did. Yes, you can love like that. Now you just might be thinking; Hey James, I don’t know that I want to love like Jesus. I’m afraid to love like he did. It might get me in trouble. Look what they did to him.
I actually did an episode back when I had just started the podcast. It’s Episode 4: Are You Afraid to Love as Much as Jesus Did?
I share an experience where I realized I was afraid to love as much as Jesus loved and how I overcame that fear. I’ll have that link in the show notes. If you haven’t heard it yet I think you’ll enjoy it.
How can you and I follow Jesus’s example of loving?
Maybe a related question we need to ask is: So what’s keeping you from loving your neighbor in a way they feel and experience your love?
It could be fear, as I mentioned or maybe a feeling of inadequacy. But quite frankly it just might be that you don’t feel loved yourself by God or others.
Which come first, loving your neighbor or being loved?
It’s a funny thing, some people believe they have to feel loved before they can love someone else. Others I know have decided that the way to feel love is to express it to someone else first before someone expresses it to them.
Maybe it doesn’t matter where you start. It’s wonderful when someone does show love to and for you. But if you don’t feel that kind of love, if you don’t do anything, you’ll always be waiting on and be dependent on someone else to take the first step.
Jesus really set the example, as he always does, to take the first step in the journey of loving your neighbor and expressing this love.
No one knew who he was when he started his ministry, except his mother and perhaps a few others close to him. He just started expressing love to people by preaching, teaching, and ministering to those who needed healing.
This is how Matthew sums it up:
Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people. Matthew 4:23 NIV
Loving your neighbor so they feel it
So let’s come back to how you and I can express love to someone in a way they know they’re loved.
First, you have to really feel genuine love for someone. It can’t just be a surface level catch phrase using the words, I love you, when you don’t really mean it to the degree you would come to their aid if they needed your help.
And sometimes that’s the problem, we do love someone but we don’t have time to get involved in helping them. Or sometimes we don’t think we’re qualified to solve their problems.
Believe it or not, Jesus felt that same way, in a sense. In one way he knew he could help and heal people and give them ideas that would transform their lives. But in another way, he admitted he couldn’t do anything to help them by himself, that is, without God’s help. He said quite frankly,
I can do nothing on my own. John 5:30 NLT
This is Jesus saying this. And he clarifies
Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. John 5:19 NIV
In one breath Jesus says he can’t do anything on his own. But then he goes out and does everything. And the way he does it by seeing what the Father does.
Jesus saw God loving people
That means in order for Jesus to have compassion on the crowds, he must have seen God love them first. He’s admitting he would not have been able to love them on his own. It was because he saw God love them.
He wouldn’t have been able to help and heal people if he hadn’t first seen God as the real solution to their problems and the source of their health making them whole.
Loving your neighbor in a way they will actually feel that love, we need to first see God loving them. We need to see God solving their problems and healing them. God is already and always loving all his children, solving their problems and shining forth His healing love. When you and I see God doing those things, it transforms the way we express our love to others.
God says in
I have loved you with an everlasting love; Jeremiah 31:3 NIV
But it really wasn’t enough for God to tell us that He loved us. The Old Testament is full of examples of how God manifested His love for the Children of Israel.
How God showed us He loves us
The ultimate way God showed his love for all of us is the fact he sent Jesus to help, guide, and heal us, to open our eyes to the kingdom of heaven here and now, and point the way to eternal life.
God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 NIV
God didn’t just say He loves us. He expressed that love by sending Jesus.
Loving your neighbor by sharing your faith
Another way for you to express your love to someone is to share your faith in Christ with them. Not in a pushy, self-righteous approach the way some Christians tend to do, but in a genuine caring for someone by offering them a cup of cold water in Christ’s name.
You can walk the extra mile with someone, in other words, go out of your way, get out of your comfort zone, to help someone and be supportive.
I recently heard of a fellow who called his friend who had just lost a loved one. This friend was in deep grief, so the fellow left a message on his phone and said something like:
Hey I know things are tough right now. I’m going to call you at 4:30 every afternoon to see how you’re doing. You’ll see on your caller ID that it’s me. If you want to talk, that’s great, but if you’re not ready to talk, that’s fine too. Just know I love you and I’m thinking of you.
Every day at 4:30 the man called his friend. For days the friend never answered the phone but he saw that his friend was keeping his promise. After about three weeks or so, he was ready to talk and started answering the call and they talked almost every day.
That is loving your neighbor. That is expressing love. That’s going the extra mile, showing love in a tangible way that someone can actually feel. And this just one way to do it.
You’re already loving your neighbor
Now I would imagine you’re already expressing love to lots of people in your life. But there is always someone else we need to love more and express this love to.
If you’re ever not sure how to love someone or how to express it, ask yourself: How would Jesus love this person? How would he express his love to this person?
In light of Jesus’s comment that he can’t do anything unless he sees God doing it, the question really becomes: What would Jesus see God doing? How would Jesus see God loving this person? How would Jesus see God expressing His love to this person?
If Jesus could see what God was doing—and Jesus expects us to follow his example—then you can see what God is doing. You can see how God is loving someone and how He expresses that love.
Yes, you can see that with the spiritual discernment God has given you.
I find this very comforting, especially when I realize I need to love someone I don’t have any personal affection for, like someone I completely disagree with politically, religiously, of just on the subject of basic values.
I don’t have to manufacture love out of nothing to love these people with. I can’t pretend and give the appearance I love them so others will think I do. I first have to see God loving them. Then I can love them with God’s love.
How did Jesus love his disciples?
Now, I want to circle back to something I said earlier about Jesus loving his disciples. How did Jesus express his love to his disciples? How and why did they feel his love? He told them,
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. John 15:9 NIV
Earlier he had said,
Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34 NIV
Jesus is really saying we need to love each other the way the Father loves Jesus. I did a whole episode on this topic you might enjoy: Episode165: How Did Jesus Love His Disciples?
So it all comes full circle to what we see God doing, how we see God loving, and reflecting that love to everyone we meet, as well as to ourselves.
If you’re going to be loving your neighbor as yourself, you have to love yourself too. How do you express love to yourself so you know you love yourself?
Jesus would not have asked us to love our neighbors, all of them, even the folks we may think are unlovable, if he thought it was impossible. Everything he asked us to do, he knew we could do.
Loving your neighbor down the future
And just to add another dimension to this idea of loving your neighbor so they will know they are loved, what about all your “neighbors” who will be born 100 years from now. Is there any way to express your love for them by the way you live your life today?
I know, that’s a pretty deep question, but it has to with you living and sharing your love and your faith in a way this generation passes it down to the next generation. And on it goes. Just something to think about. You’re not living your life just for yourself or the people you know today. Your love can have a far reaching effect into the future.
Now you may be thinking: Hey James, this is all very helpful for dealing with people in my life, but if I’m supposed to love all mankind and people way off in the future, how do I express that to everyone? Obviously, I don’t know everyone on the planet. How can I love them so they know they’re loved?
That’s actually a great question. You’re right. There’s no way to personally express your love to every individual on Earth. But you can take that universal love for all God’s children and express it to everyone you meet.
It could be a simple smile to someone you pass on the street. It could be a genuine affection and appreciation shared with a sales clerk. It could be offering to pray for a friend, or someone you just met, when they share a problem they’re struggling with. There is no limit to the ways you can express love and the effect it can have.
So let people know you love them. Don’t just tell them, although that is important. Show them your love by how you treat them, how you listen to them, how you’re patient with them, how you help them, and what you do unexpectedly to bring them joy.
And the beautiful thing in doing this is, when you let someone know you love them and express that love in a way they feel loved, you will feel more love as well.
•••••••
Photo credit: Vladislav Klapin
_____________
James Early, the Jesus Mindset Coach, is a Bible teacher, speaker, and church mentor. He conducts Bible workshops online and in person. His focus is on getting back to the original Christianity of Jesus by learning to think, pray, and love like Jesus. Contact him here.
Make a donation to support the show
Listen and leave a review on
_____________
Bible References
1 John 3:18 NIV
18 Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
Matthew 9:36 NIV
36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
Matthew 5:13, 14 NIV
13 You are the salt of the earth…
14 You are the light of the world.
Matthew 5:9 NIV
9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Matthew 4:23 NIV
23 Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people.
John 5:30 NLT
30 I can do nothing on my own.
John 5:19 NIV
19 Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.
Jeremiah 31:3 NIV
3 I have loved you with an everlasting love;
John 3:16 NIV
16 God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
John 15:9 NIV
9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.
John 13:34 NIV
34 Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
