What gives you true confidence?
Where does confidence come from? More specifically, what gives you a sense of confidence? What keeps you from feeling confident? All too often we put our faith and trust in something besides God and the level of our confidence is likely to rise or fall based on changing circumstances and it really isn’t confidence at all. So what is true confidence?
Let’s get straight to the point. True confidence comes only from understanding, even in a degree, your relationship to God. If your sense of confidence is based on where you’re from, who your family is, your education, your job, your accomplishments, how much money you have, how good looking you are, your sense of pride in your personal intelligence and abilities, then your confidence is built on the sands of material circumstances that time is wearing away.
Youthful confidence
I can remember when I was 6 or 7 years old, I was very confident in myself. I thought I was pretty smart and because my family was respected in the community that somehow made me feel more confident in myself.
But as I grew older and realized there were so many things I did not know and that other kids were much better than me at certain activities, like sports, I became less confident in myself. I started judging my abilities based on myself, whether I was good at something or not.
By the time I was in junior high school, or what is now called middle school, I had lost almost all the self-confidence I had in first and second grade. Looking back at that time in my life, I realize those early years of feeling confident never really had anything to do with true confidence.
I based my level of confidence on myself, my abilities, and my circumstances.
Learning about true confidence
It was only when I got serious about my faith in high school that I started to get a glimmer of what true confidence is and where it comes from.
As I said earlier, the basis of true confidence comes from your relationship with God. The more you nurture and understand your relationship with God, the irony is, the less confidence you will have in your own abilities. But the more confidence you will have in God’s abilities.
I learned this first hand at a speech contest in high school. The speech team had traveled to another high school for the competition. My event was reading short stories to a panel of judges. On the bus trip to the event, I realized I had no idea how good I was in comparison to the other contestants. This was my first speech competition.
I had my Bible with me on the bus and I thought about how to put my new-found faith into practice. I don’t remember what specific Bible verse I found that was helpful, but I can remember a deep sense of trust in God instead of trusting in my own abilities.
Trusting God gave me true confidence
This gave me a much stronger sense of true confidence than I had previously had when I was trusting in myself or the training from my speech coach.
Because I felt this trust in God instead of myself, I felt a true confidence and wasn’t so worried about what others thought and didn’t compare myself to the other contestants too much.
As it turned out, I got second place over all in the competition in short story reading. And I gave all the credit to God.
Unfortunately, at the next speech contest, because of my previous win, I had a little too much confidence in myself, my training, and technique. But it was not true confidence. I was not really trusting God. Looking back, it’s no real surprise that I did not do well at all in that competition.
Material circumstances and personal abilities don’t give true confidence
Over many years, I have slowly learned, by many ups and downs, that when my confidence is based on my own circumstances or abilities, I usually do not feel very confident at all, or it’s very short-lived.
Sometimes I have been overwhelmed by people who seem to radiate confidence in every word and action, just the way they look . But the deeper I have looked into what appears on the surface of their lives to be a strong sense of confidence, sometimes I’ve seen these folks are either hiding behind a façade of pretended confidence, or their confidence comes from all those external factors I mentioned earlier.
They perceive themselves to be smarter, richer, more physically fit, more handsome or beautiful, etc., than others.
I want true confidence, not a counterfeit
But when your confidence comes from all those external factors, it’s more of a counterfeit confidence rather than true confidence.
It was at this point I realized I don’t want my confidence to be based on anything but my relationship with God, His love for me, and that I am His child, made in His image and likeness.
I don’t want my success to come from something other than confidence in God.
Looking at the life of Jesus, I realize this is the only basis for true confidence, a sense of spiritual confidence, not based on yourself, others, or any material circumstances.
Jesus had true confidence
If there was ever anyone who expressed true confidence, it was Jesus. He spoke and acted with such spiritual and divine authority. He was completely confident in trusting God. He understood his relationship with God. And he knew God loved him.
Jesus knew he was completely dependent on God for everything he said and did. His confidence was in God, not himself.
Jesus puts it so plainly,
Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.”
“I can do nothing on my own.” John 5:19, 30 NIV
I always marvel at this saying of Jesus: “I can do nothing on my own.” This is Jesus, the Son of God, the Messiah, saying he can’t do anything by himself.
No wonder things don’t always go the way we hope for when we think we can do things on our own without bothering to ask God for help or acknowledge the help He freely gives us.
The words out of Jesus’s mouth were only from God
But Jesus doesn’t stop with putting his trust and confidence in God for what he does. He also depends completely on God for what to say.
For I did not speak on my own, but the Father who sent me commanded me to say all that I have spoken. I know that his command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say. John 12:49, 50 NIV
What if, before you opened your mouth to say anything, you asked God what to say, or what not to say. And you only said what God told you to.
Take a moment to imagine hearing God’s voice so consistently and obeying that voice as to the words that came out of your mouth.
You’d have a serene and true confidence that you were always saying the right thing. And just turning to God for guidance and hearing His voice so consistently would give you a deep sense of confidence unobtainable in any other way.
True confidence comes from trusting God
It’s really all about trusting God instead of yourself. That reminds of those often quoted and favorite verses in Proverbs.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5, 6 NLT
Now you may be thinking: Hey James, this is all fine for Jesus. He was Jesus. But I don’t know if I can ask God what to say and do for every little thing in my life. Did Jesus even expect us to do this the way he did?
How closely are we supposed to follow Jesus?
Here’s the way I see it. Yes, Jesus expected us to follow his example. He said over and over, to many different people, in many different situations: Follow me.
Jesus called out to them [Peter and Andrew], “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” Matthew 4:19 NLT
But Jesus told him, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.” Matthew 8:22 NIV
As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him. Matthew 9:9 NIV
Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. Matthew 16:24 NIV
Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” Matthew 19:21 NIV
You can follow Jesus’s example
Some of these people chose to follow Jesus and some didn’t. But Jesus expected a complete and full-hearted commitment to follow him, his teachings, his example, his way of thinking, acting, and loving.
Jesus would not have asked us to follow him in all these ways if it were impossible for us to achieve. He knew we could follow him and he expected it from us.
So let’s come back to this idea of Jesus only saying and doing what he hears and sees God doing. How can you and I follow his example, at least a little better?
It begins with a moment here and a moment there. And all too often it begins with realizing you’ve been depending on yourself and your own abilities for getting things done. True confidence in God comes step by step as you trust Him for one thing and then the next and the next.
Jeremiah’s advice from God
The prophet Jeremiah sums it all up when he says
Thus says the LORD:
“Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom,
Let not the mighty man glory in his might,
Nor let the rich man glory in his riches;
But let him who glories glory in this,
That he understands and knows Me,
That I am the LORD, exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth.
For in these I delight,” says the LORD. Jeremiah 9:23, 24 NKJV
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being wise, strong, and wealthy. But when you trust in these external things for your sense of identity, ability, and confidence, you’ve missed the mark of true confidence based on God.
Jeremiah reminds us that we need to understand and know God as the basis of our worth and true confidence.
Shifting from counterfeit to true confidence
So how do we make the shift from confidence in ourselves, external situations, and circumstances to true confidence based on our relationship with God?
One of the first spiritual steps to take is to see yourself as a child of God, created by God, and cherished by God.
This is the starting point, that God is your creator. You are His child, His offspring, His son or daughter, His cherished one.
The next important point is how God created you. The book of Genesis couldn’t make it any clearer.
So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:27 NKJV
This is how God created you. You may not always feel like this is true. You may sometimes be convinced, because of mistakes you’ve made or things that have happened to you, that you are not the image and likeness of God.
But somewhere, underneath all those layers of things that are not the image and likeness of God, your original identity as God’s child is intact.
Your relationship with God is the basis of true confidence
Because you are a child of God, that means you have a relationship with God, a parent-child relationship.
Before you can experience true confidence in your ability to do what God has created you to do, you need to acknowledge and accept your status as a child of God and the relationship with God that comes as a result of that.
And of course there are other things that can increase our true confidence in God as the source of all we are, have, and can do.
For example, taking time to pray. And I don’t mean just repeating words, but earnestly and sincerely communing with God, sharing your deep desires with Him, and listening to and obeying His voice.
When you connect with God in prayer and feel His presence in your life, it does give you more true confidence, more of that spiritual assurance and trust in God.
And of course there’s studying your Bible. But I don’t mean just memorizing Bible verses and quoting them all the time to show how well you know the Bible. It really is about how well you put the ideas in those verses into practice in your daily life.
A subtle danger
And here’s a subtle danger some Christians fall into. With all your prayer and Bible study, don’t make the assumption that those things, in and of themselves, will give you the kind of true confidence we’ve been talking about.
I have heard, and maybe you have too, people who speak with such confidence about something in the Bible, but it’s clear they’ve taken it out of context or twisted it to suit their own opinions. I’ve heard two people share with equal confidence and conviction exact opposite interpretations of a particular Bible verse or concept.
If your confidence is in your human opinions about what the Bible says, and you are absolutely convinced your opinion, or what someone else has taught you, is correct, you have probably misplaced your confidence and trust to some degree.
I know people who have more faith in and a better relationship with their theology than they do with God. They know their beliefs about God better than they actually know God Himself.
This is a very subtle deception. But it’s basically just one more example of trusting in yourself, in this case your beliefs, than in God. The confidence you have as a result of this misplaced trust is not true confidence in God at all.
Practicing your faith increases true confidence
On the contrary, when you have practiced your faith, for example, loving your neighbors and your enemies, forgiving those who have wronged you, when you joyfully walk the extra mile with someone, when you consistently obey the Golden Rule, you’ll discover your true confidence and watch it bud and bloom profusely.
True confidence increases the more you follow Jesus’s example, the more you put into practice the things he taught.
Why? Because in following Jesus, you’re actually obeying God’s will. As I mentioned earlier, Jesus only said and did God’s will.
When you are conscious of God’s will and obey it, you are no longer trusting in your own abilities, your own wisdom, your own will power to get things done. You’re listening for God’s voice and following His guidance.
True confidence comes from God
Your true confidence comes directly from God. Nothing can substitute for the peace of mind that comes when you are conscious of your relationship with God and know that He loves you as His dear child.
Starting today, have a little less confidence in yourself and more in God. And you can say with Paul,
… for when I am weak, then am I strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10 KJV
I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13 NIV
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Photo Credit: Debby Hudson
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James Early, the Jesus Mindset Coach, is a Bible teacher, speaker, and church mentor. He conducts Bible workshops online and in person. His focus is on getting back to the original Christianity of Jesus by learning to think, pray, and love like Jesus. Contact him here.
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Bible References
John 5:19, 30 NIV
19 Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.”
30 “I can do nothing on my own.”
John 12:49, 50 NIV
49 For I did not speak on my own, but the Father who sent me commanded me to say all that I have spoken.
50 I know that his command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say.
Proverbs 3:5, 6 NLT
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
6 Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.
Matthew 4:19 NLT
19 Jesus called out to them [Peter and Andrew], “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!”
Matthew 8:22 NIV
22 But Jesus told him, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.”
Matthew 9:9 NIV
9 As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.
Matthew 16:24 NIV
24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.
Matthew 19:21 NIV
21 Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
Jeremiah 9:23, 24 NKJV
23 Thus says the LORD:
“Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom,
Let not the mighty man glory in his might,
Nor let the rich man glory in his riches;
24 But let him who glories glory in this,
That he understands and knows Me,
That I am the LORD, exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth.
For in these I delight,” says the LORD.
Genesis 1:27 NKJV
27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
2 Corinthians 12:10 KJV
10… for when I am weak, then am I strong.
Philippians 4:13 NIV
13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
