Have you ever asked yourself: Where does self-worth come from?
Growing up, especially during my teenage years, there were many times I had a very negative opinion of myself. There were other times when I had a more positive perspective about myself as a person. On the outside, I tried to have a positive attitude most of the time, but inside I did not feel much self-worth. I never asked myself: Where does self-worth come from?
I was basing my sense of who I was mostly on external circumstances and comparing myself to others. For example, I was not at all athletic, I couldn’t run very fast or throw a ball very far. And our family was struggling financially at times. Somehow, I thought those things made me less worthy as a person.
But in the many years since then, and the many spiritual lessons along the way, I’ve realized that self-worth, which I’ll define as your own awareness of your worth as a child of God, never comes from external circumstances, situations, or conditions.
Where does self-worth come from?
So where does self-worth come from?
It doesn’t come from what you do. It comes from who you are.
It’s not your opinion of yourself. It comes from who you actually are as a child of God. It’s based on how God originally made you and still sees you as His image and likeness.
If you have high sense of self-worth because of external factors, it’s not true self-worth. It’s built on things that can change, that can disappear.
If you base your worth as a person on how much money, power, and influence you have, where you’re from, what kind of education you received, or all the things you’ve accomplished, you’ll see others who have more or less of these things in their lives as more or less worthy than you.
Where does self-worth come from? God
But that’s not the way true worth, spiritual worth, is evaluated. We all have equal worth in God’s eyes.
Your worth as an individual in God’s eyes, as I said, is based completely on the fact you are a child of God, made in the image likeness of God.
The things you have and do as a person may have immense value and contribute to society in wonderful ways, but your spiritual worth as a son or daughter of God is not based on any of this.
Now, these things may be stepping stones to you finding your self-worth. But your self-worth, your spiritual value as a child of God, is already established. It already exists and is intact, waiting for you to discover and consciously embrace it in your daily life.
Moses finds his self worth slowly
I love the story of Moses getting his marching orders from God to tell Pharaoh to let the Children of Israel go.
On the surface it appears Moses doesn’t have much confidence or the inner self-worth to accomplish all God is asking him to do. He makes excuses.
Moses said to the LORD, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”
The LORD said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? … Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”
But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.” Exodus 4:10-13 NIV
Moses didn’t feel capable or worthy to do what God was asking of him. But God saw his worth and appointed Moses’s brother, Aaron, to go with him to Pharaoh. As a result, Moses began to discover his self-worth.
Where does self-worth come from for Gideon?
Another example I love is when the angel of God appeared to Gideon while he was threshing grain. Gideon had very little if any self-worth.
When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, “The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.” Judges 6:12 NIV
But Gideon saw himself as pretty much the opposite of a mighty warrior. He had never fought in a battle up to that point, as far as we know.
Then the Lord said through the angel,
“Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?” Judges 6:14 NIV
This was too much for Gideon’s small estimation of his worth. He replied,
“Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” Judges 6:15 NIV
Why did Gideon have such a low estimation of his worth? Because he based it on the external factors that he was from the smallest and least significant tribe in Israel, the low social status of his family in the tribe, and his position as the youngest in his family.
But God didn’t see Gideon that way at all. God saw his full worth and led Gideon step by step to see it as well.
Your self worth is already here
Just because Moses and Gideon didn’t see their own self-worth at first didn’t mean it wasn’t already there. God patiently worked with them until they began to see it for themselves.
This is true for you and me as well. You may not feel a very strong sense of self-worth right now, for whatever reason. That doesn’t mean you have little or no spiritual worth. You just don’t see it yet.
You can grow into a sense of your own self-worth as you discover your talents and gain confidence in your abilities like Gideon and Moses did. But your real worth never changes. It never increases or grows less than it is right now.
Where does self-worth come from for you?
Now you may be thinking: Okay, James, you say my self-worth as a child of God already exists spiritually. And that sounds pretty encouraging. But I don’t really feel it. How do I discover my self-worth, accept it, and live it in my daily life?
This is such a great question. How do you discover and live out from your true self-worth? Where does self-worth come from?
Well, let me ask you a question. Who do you know who has a strong sense of true self-worth? What are some of their attitudes about life? What is their mindset? How do they see the world, others, and themselves? How do they interact with God?
The people I know who have a strong sense of their self-worth make it a priority to understand and nurture their relationship with God. The more they know and love God, the more they know and love themselves and others. And the more they see their own worth and the worth of others.
Self-worth is knowing your spiritual identity
Like so many things, it really does come down to a question of identity: how well you know God and how well you know yourself as the child of God, made in His image and likeness.
When you can see and accept – and yes you can do this – that you are the image and likeness of God, you realize that’s what your worth is based on. It’s nothing you do or others provide you with.
And when you see your own worth in this light, you’ll see the worth of everyone you meet as well.
Now I know you’re probably still thinking: Well, James, this does sound pretty good. If I could actually see myself as God’s image and likeness, I can see how that would give me a better sense of my self-worth, but I’m still having trouble seeing myself that way, as the image and likeness of God.
Seeing yourself as the image of God
Well, now the question becomes: How can you see yourself as the image and likeness of God, accept that fact, and live accordingly?
This is a really important question and one that a lot of people never ask. But if you don’t ask it, you might never find the answer.
The first step is to realize you don’t have to make it true. Spiritually, you already are and always have been, the image and likeness of God.
That doesn’t mean you have a perfect human life or that you haven’t made mistakes or don’t have problems. It means spiritually, God created your original identity as His image and likeness. This original identity is intact. It hasn’t gone anywhere. It hasn’t been diluted or polluted, abused or abusive.
Whatever you have done or not done cannot alter your spiritual identity as a child of God. Your thoughts and actions may cover up your true identity and sense of self-worth to the point you don’t see them, but they are still there.
Once you realize you don’t have to make yourself worthy, there comes a moment, or many moments, when you simply begin to accept your self-worth.
And if you need some encouragement from God like Moses and Gideon did, that’s okay.
Where does self-worth come from? Obeying Jesus
One of the things that’s helped me the most to see and accept my self-worth is when I do something Jesus tells me to do.
For example, take any of the things Jesus says to do in the Sermon on the Mount, like being a peacemaker, taking the “log” out of your eye before trying to take the “speck” out of someone else’s eye, or not trying to get public recognition when you pray, fast, and give to charity.
When I put Jesus’s teachings into practice in my own life, it naturally causes me to be a little more Christlike. The more Christlike I am, the more I see my own self-worth. And the more I see someone else’s self-worth.
Think of all those people who heard Jesus preach the Sermon on the Mount. Do you think, in general, they had a strong sense of their self-worth? There’s no way to know for sure, but they weren’t that different from you and me, trying to do what’s right, but sometimes just struggling to get through the day.
Jesus saw people’s self-worth
Whether those listening saw their own self-worth or not, Jesus definitely did. He told them of their immense value.
You are the salt of the earth.
You are the light of the world. Matthew 5:13, 14 NIV
Salt was a very valuable commodity in the ancient world. And everyone knew the value of light in a dark room.
Jesus was telling everyone of their inherent worth, their spiritual value as children of God.
When was the last time you said to yourself: “I am the salt of the earth. I am the light of the world.”?
It kind of feels awkward sometimes doesn’t it? Because you might not be thinking of yourself as the salt and the light. But Jesus declares this is already the fact. You don’t have to make it true. It’s up to you and me to acknowledge and accept this fact and live our lives in that awareness. Say it to yourself now.
Jesus knew his worth
Let’s come back to Jesus for a minute.
If anyone ever knew their self-worth it was Jesus. He knew how precious he was in God’s eyes. He knew his worth as the Messiah and the value of his message, not just to the people who lived 2,000 years ago in a remote province of the Roman Empire, but to all mankind for all time.
Is it possible for you and me to have that same awareness of our worth Jesus had? Yes of course, but we have to live our lives close to the way Jesus lived.
And this comes back to what I mentioned earlier about nurturing your relationship with God. Jesus was always in communion with God. He was always talking to God, always listening for God’s guidance, what to do and what to say.
Jesus knew his relationship with God
Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.” John 5:19 NIV
“For I did not speak on my own, but the Father who sent me commanded me to say all that I have spoken. I know that his command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say.” John 12:49, 50 NIV
In order to do only what he saw God do and say only what God told him to, Jesus must have always been talking and listening to God, asking what to say and do. He lived his relationship with God on a moment by moment basis.
Paul encourages us
This is a pretty high standard for us to follow. And if it seems like a far reach for you, it’s encouraging to remember Paul’s promise in
1 Corinthians 2:16 NIV
16 …we have the mind of Christ.
Because you and I have the mind of Christ, we can begin to think like Jesus, to talk and listen to God like Jesus, and to hear and obey God’s voice like Jesus did. You can’t do this with the human mind. The human mind is incapable of doing what the mind of Christ does.
Because you have the mind of Christ, you can see and accept your worth as a child of God. Instead of trying to create or arrive at self-worth that doesn’t exist yet, you can consciously live out from your true self-worth, which already exists, in everything you do.
“Where does self-worth come from?” is the wrong question
The question: Where does self-worth come from? is in one sense, is the wrong question. The answer on the surface is that self-worth comes from God and not external circumstances.
But on a deeper level, self-worth doesn’t come. It’s already here. It’s already part of your God-given spiritual nature as a child of God. It only “comes” in the sense that it comes to your awareness. It becomes more clear to you. It becomes more and more a part of your current mindset, and shows up more in the way you love yourself and others.
Your self-worth is intact. It is rooted and grounded in your relationship to God as His image and likeness. You are not responsible for creating or maintaining it. Nothing you have done or not done, nothing you will do or neglect to do in the future can diminish your true spiritual self-worth. You may not always see it, but your self-worth is always here because it’s part of your identity as a child of God.
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James Early, the Jesus Mindset Coach, is a Bible teacher, speaker, and church mentor. He conducts Bible workshops online and in person. His focus is on getting back to the original Christianity of Jesus by learning to think, pray, and love like Jesus. Contact him here.
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Bible References
Exodus 4:10-13 NIV
10 Moses said to the LORD, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”
11 The LORD said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? …
12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”
13 But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”
Judges 6:12 NIV
12 When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, “The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.”
Judges 6:14 NIV
14 “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”
Judges 6:15 NIV
15 “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.”
Matthew 5:13, 14 NIV
13 “You are the salt of the earth.
14 You are the light of the world.”
John 5:19 NIV
19 Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.
John 12:49, 50 NIV
49 For I did not speak on my own, but the Father who sent me commanded me to say all that I have spoken.
50 I know that his command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say.
1 Corinthians 2:16 NIV
16 …we have the mind of Christ.
