Finding your self-worth
Recently, I’ve been talking to a number of people who are struggling with, finding, and accepting their true self-worth as a child of God. This is something I’ve had to deal with a lot in the past. In fact, for years I alternated between having a very negative view of myself, and having an overly -inflated view of myself. I kind of felt I was a pendulum at times. But neither of these extremes gave me a sense of my real worth. Finding your self-worth is about your relationship with God.
Well, because of all these recent conversations I’ve been having, I’ve been thinking about self-worth lately, what it is, where it comes from, and what prevents us from accepting it and being all God made us to be.
Now, back in 2022, I did an episode about self-worth, which a lot of listeners really appreciated at the time, but there are a lot of new listeners to The Bible Speak To You Podcast, and because this is such an important topic, I’m revisiting it in this week’s episode.
If you’d like to listen to the previous episode it’s #153:Where Does Your Self-Worth Come From?
Now, there may be a little overlap in what I say today with what is in Episode 153. But my main focus here is on what would keep up from being aware of, accepting, and living in the fullness of our self-worth. And then, of course, how to overcome those limiting beliefs.
The Bible on finding your self-worth
The Bible has a whole lot to say about our worth as children of God, our worthiness to be and do all God calls us to do, and where this worth comes from. The Bible also gives us lots of examples of people who didn’t have a very strong sense of self-worth, or their self-worth was based on the wrong things.
I think it’s really helpful to read these stories and see what lessons you can learn from various Bible characters. There might be a real parallel with something going on in your life, or at least you might get an oversight on how to face down the oppressive sense of not feeling worthy, or humanly feeling overly sure of yourself.
What’s interesting to me is that several times in the Bible, the very person God deems worthy, does not actually feel worthy to carry out what God calls them to do.
In episode 153, I talk about Gideon in this light. Because of his social status and position in his family, he felt he was unqualified for what God wanted him to do. But God would not let Gideon wiggle out of the task at hand. You can read his story starting in Judges 6:11. https://www.blueletterbible.org/niv/jdg/6/11/s_217011
Moses didn’t see his worth at first
But Gideon was not the first person in the Old Testament to feel unworthy. Even Moses tried to explain to God why he was unqualified to tell Pharaoh to set the Children of Israel free.
But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” Exodus 3:11 NIV
Why did Moses feel this way? He came up with quite a list of excuses and reasons why the Israelites might not believe him, why Pharaoh wouldn’t listen, and why he couldn’t do it.
At the root of all this was fear. Moses had fled Egypt years before because he killed a man. He might not have wanted to return to the scene of the crime, so to speak.
In addition, Moses didn’t consider himself a good speaker and felt this would or should disqualify him from talking with authority to Pharaoh.
Of course, none of this deterred God, who chose Moses for this task because he was worthy of it. God led Moses each step of the way to face and overcome his fears and self-perceived shortcomings.
Have you ever asked God that question: Who am I that I should be the one to do a particular thing? If God sees your worth to give you a task or a life purpose, He will also lead you each step of the way as He did with Moses.
Jacob struggled with self-worth at times
Another person in the Bible who struggled with seeing his worth was Jacob. Jacob had cheated his older brother, Essau, out of his birthright and his blessing and then ran away to avoid Essau’s anger. But after years of working for his uncle, Laban, marrying and having a large family, God told him to return to his homeland.
Jacob realized he would have to face Essau and he was afraid. He knew he had cheated his brother. He had been very sly in the way he tended Laban’s flocks, taking the best for himself. He was basing his self-worth on what he could get from others.
There’s nothing like having to face the mistakes you’ve made to help you realize you might not be such a fine fellow as you thought you were. This is what happened to Jacob.
He felt God had bountifully blessed him, but perhaps because of having to face his brother and how he had treated him in the past, Jacob did not feel worthy of all these blessings.
Then Jacob said, “O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, the LORD who said to me, ‘Return to your country and to your family, and I will deal well with you’:
“I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies and of all the truth which You have shown Your servant; for I crossed over this Jordan with my staff, and now I have become two companies.” Genesis 32:9, 10 NKJV
Obviously God felt Jacob was worthy. He had positioned Jacob, in spite of his mistakes, to be the father of the nation of Israel.
Just because you don’t see your worth, does not mean God doesn’t see it. God created your worth in the first place.
Hannah’s self-worth
There are lots of reasons why people didn’t feel worthy in the Bible and I don’t have time to talk about all of them, but let’s talk about the story of Hannah, Samuel’s mother, because her situation can apply to so many things we deal with today.
Hannah wasn’t able to have children and this caused her great distress She felt deeply the weight of unworthiness because she had no children.Now there was a certain man of Ramathaim Zophim, of the mountains of Ephraim, and his name was Elkanah the son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. And he had two wives: the name of one was Hannah, and the name of the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children.
Then Elkanah her husband said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? Why do you not eat? And why is your heart grieved? Am I not better to you than ten sons?” 1 Samuel 1:1, 2, 8, NKJV
Elkanah saw her worth. But Hannah had associated her worth with having children.
She prayed earnestly for a child, but the interesting thing about her prayer is that it’s not just a selfish prayer for what she wants. She turns her request for a son into a way to serve and glorify God.
Then she made a vow and said, “O LORD of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a male child, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life, and no razor shall come upon his head.” 1 Samuel 1:11 NKJV
God does grant her request and her son Samuel was born not too long after that.
Finding your self-worth
How does this apply to you and me?
Hannah thought her worth was based on whether she had children or not. Does your self-worth depend on some external factor, such as how many children you have or how smart and how successful they are? Or what about how much money you have, or don’t have, where you were born or went to school? Or what you do career-wise? How good looking you are?
When you base your self-worth on any of these or other external conditions or situations, you’ll never find your true spiritual self-worth as a child of God.
In fact, it’s thinking your worth is determined by how much of something you have or don’t have, by who you are or are not, that actually prevents you from discovering your true worth.
Finding your true self-worth can only come from an inner spiritual awareness of your relationship with God.
Nebuchadnezzar’s self-worth
This is what happened to King Nebuchadnezzar. Nebuchadnezzar had established the powerful Babylonian Empire. He thought his great accomplishments defined his worth. He says,
Is not this the great Babylon I have built as the royal residence, by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty? Daniel 4:30 NIV
But God took all that away from him and humbled him. Nebuchadnezzar had to learn that his self-worth as an individual was a gift from God, not from his human accomplishments. And when his kingdom was restored, instead of claiming the glory for himself, he gave it to God.
Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble. Daniel 4:37 NIV
That’s really quite a transformation, isn’t it? Our leaders today could learn from this. And so can you and I.
Was John the Baptist worthy?
Let’s look at some examples in the New Testament of people who actually were worthy, but didn’t think they were for various reasons.
Remember when John the Baptist said,
John answered them all, “I baptize you with water. But one who is more powerful than I will come, the straps of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.” Luke 3:16 NIV
God had commissioned John with one of the most important roles in the Bible, to prepare the way for the Messiah. God obviously saw John as worthy for this mission.
John’s reference to untying Jesus’s sandals was what a slave would do for his master. John was basically saying he wasn’t worthy to be Jesus’s servant. But John was worthy. And he did so much more to serve Jesus than the equivalent of untying Jesus’s sandals.
Finding your self-worth with humility
Why is it so often the case that the ones who think they are not worthy, are actually very worthy? It comes down to their humility. And that is what actually is very worthy in the eyes of God. Jesus points this out in the very first words of the Sermon on the Mount.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:3 NIV
This reminds me of the Centurion who sent Jewish elders to ask Jesus to heal his servant.
Now a centurion had a servant who was sick and at the point of death, who was highly valued by him. When the centurion heard about Jesus, he sent to him elders of the Jews, asking him to come and heal his servant. And when they came to Jesus, they pleaded with him earnestly, saying, “He is worthy to have you do this for him, for he loves our nation, and he is the one who built us our synagogue.”
And Jesus went with them. When he was not far from the house, the centurion sent friends, saying to him, “Lord, do not trouble yourself, for I am not worthy to have you come under my roof. Therefore I did not presume to come to you. But say the word, and let my servant be healed. For I too am a man set under authority, with soldiers under me: and I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes; and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”
When Jesus heard these things, he marveled at him, and turning to the crowd that followed him, said, “I tell you, not even in Israel have I found such faith.” And when those who had been sent returned to the house, they found the servant well. Luke 7:2-10 ESV
True self-worth
It’s fascinating that the Jewish elders who came to Jesus on the Centurion’s behalf believed the Centurion was worthy. But they were basing his worth on the fact he had built them a synagogue. And in a sense, that was an indicator of the kind of person the Centurion was at heart. But it is still an external reason for worth.
Have you ever felt like someone who gives a whole lot of money at church or works on lots of different important committees is more worthy than those who don’t? We’ve got to stop judging people’s self-worth based on these external factors.
The Centurion didn’t feel worthy to be in the presence of Jews or to have Jesus in his home, because he was sympathetic to their faith which basically forbid this kind of close association. So you could say, he was being respectful of the religious customs. But he was thinking his self-worth was less because he was a different nationality.
It’s ironic, because most Romans probably thought their self-worth depended on them being Roman citizens. But all these things are external.
Jesus cut through all these human opinions and perspectives on what constitutes worth by getting to the crux of the matter. When the Centurion declared his faith that Jesus had the authority to heal without even coming to his house, Jesus proclaimed the true worth of this Roman officer by commending his devout faith.
The Centurion’s worth shone forth, not because he was a Roman officer, not because he had built a synagogue for the Jews, but because he had an inner faith and absolute trust in Christ’s ability to heal.
Jesus saw everyone’s worth
Jesus had a way of seeing the worth of people that others did not.
He told everyone listening to his Sermon on the Mount, including all those who had sinned in any way, and may have felt shame or guilt because of it, including those who felt they were not as good, or worthy, as others because of the external things we’ve been talking about,
He said to everyone in the crowd,
You are the salt of the earth.
You are the light of the world. Matthew 5:13, 14 NIV
If you had been there that day, listening to Jesus preach, and were feeling unimportant, insignificant, or ashamed because of things you had done you shouldn’t have, or not done things you should have, how would you have heard Jesus’s words: You are the salt of the earth and the light of the world?
It’s pretty shocking actually. And he must have said these words with such spiritual authority that you might actually have believed him.
Finding your self-worth and doing something with it
Jesus told everyone they are the light of the world. But he didn’t stop there. He expected people to act upon their self-worth. It’s not enough just to know you are worth something in God’s eyes. Jesus said we must let our light shine.
…let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16 NIV
In other words, be aware of your self-worth and let it shine out into the world so that others will give glory to God.
Now you may be thinking: Hey James, I get the idea that Jesus was saying everyone is the light of the world and that he was seeing their worth as a child of God, but does that mean someone who has sinned is worthy and should have a strong sense of self-worth?
That’s actually a great question.
The Prodigal Son’s lack of self-worth
It reminds me of the parable of the Prodigal Son. He was always his father’s son, but when he repented of his sins, something shifted in his heart.
When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ Luke 15:17-19 NIV
He didn’t feel worthy to be called his father’s son, but that’s not how his father felt when he saw his lost son returning. He greeted him as completely worthy.
That’s how our heavenly Father sees us, at all times, even before we have repented. God sees our true worth as His children. We just can’t see it when we’re buried in sin, fear, self-depreciation, or egotism, resentment, or self-righteousness, or whatever.
Self-worth based on the wrong things
Over many years I have seen people who seem so self-confident and self-assured. They seemed to be so aware of their self-worth. And all too often I have compared myself to them and wondered why I can’t have the same outward sense of confidence. But when I have gotten to know them a little better, it’s pretty clear that some of these folks have a strong sense of self-worth based on all these external things we’ve been talking about.
God keeps reminding me to see my worth based on my identity as a child of God and not how rich, good looking, smart, or industrious I may or may not be, where I’m from or who I know. If your self-worth is based on all these external factors, you’ll eventually have to learn the lesson Nebuchadnezzar did.
Jesus’s self-worth
Now, if anyone ever knew their self-worth it was Jesus. But he said,
I can do nothing on my own. John 5:30 NLT
That’s really the exact opposite view Nebuchadnezzar had at first.
“I can do nothing on my own.” But then Jesus went out and did everything. He knew his worth because it was based on his relationship with his heavenly Father. He had heard and must have constantly remembered God’s voice at his baptism,
This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Matthew 3:17 NIV
Finding your self-worth in your relationship with God
Jesus has given us an example to follow. The only way to truly discover, accept, and live out from your true spiritual self-worth is to know your relationship to God.
In spite of the mistakes you’ve made or the things you feel are lacking in your life, God is always saying to you: This is my dearly loved child in whom I am well pleased.
Now, God is not pleased with the mistakes you’ve made, the sins you’ve committed, all the external things the world judges self-worth by, because they are not worthy, cannot give you worth, or take away your worth.
Actually, it’s the presence of Christ in your heart that removes all these non-worthy things and thoughts from your life.
I love this passage from
Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them. So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:14-17 NLT
When you are in Christ, when you belong to Christ—I love that phrase—the things that are not worthy and cannot give you worth (or take away your worth) will dissolve. And as Paul says, “The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”
Sometimes the only thing preventing you from embracing your self-worth as a child of God, is that you have not let go of “the old life.” Let it go. That’s not who you are anymore when you belong to Christ.
Your self-worth is not based on what you’ve done or not done. It’s based completely on who you are as a child of God. God holds you worth in His heart. And nothing can ever take it away.
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James Early, the Jesus Mindset Coach, is a Bible teacher, speaker, and podcaster. He conducts Bible workshops online and in person. His focus is on getting back to the original Christianity of Jesus by embracing the mindset of Christ in daily life. Contact him here.
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Bible References
Exodus 3:11 NIV
11 But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”
Genesis 32:9, 10 NKJV
9 Then Jacob said, “O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, the LORD who said to me, ‘Return to your country and to your family, and I will deal well with you’:
10 “I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies and of all the truth which You have shown Your servant; for I crossed over this Jordan with my staff, and now I have become two companies.”
1 Samuel 1:1, 2, 8, NKJV
1 Now there was a certain man of Ramathaim Zophim, of the mountains of Ephraim, and his name was Elkanah the son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite.
2 And he had two wives: the name of one was Hannah, and the name of the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children.
8 Then Elkanah her husband said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? Why do you not eat? And why is your heart grieved? Am I not better to you than ten sons?”
1 Samuel 1:11 NKJV
11 Then she made a vow and said, “O LORD of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a male child, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life, and no razor shall come upon his head.”
Daniel 4:30 NIV
30 Is not this the great Babylon I have built as the royal residence, by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty?
Daniel 4:37 NIV
37 Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble.
Luke 3:16 NIV
16 John answered them all, “I baptize you with water. But one who is more powerful than I will come, the straps of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.”
Matthew 5:3 NIV
3 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Luke 7:2-10 ESV
2 Now a centurion had a servant who was sick and at the point of death, who was highly valued by him.
3 When the centurion heard about Jesus, he sent to him elders of the Jews, asking him to come and heal his servant.
4 And when they came to Jesus, they pleaded with him earnestly, saying, “He is worthy to have you do this for him,
5 for he loves our nation, and he is the one who built us our synagogue.”
6 And Jesus went with them. When he was not far from the house, the centurion sent friends, saying to him, “Lord, do not trouble yourself, for I am not worthy to have you come under my roof.
7 Therefore I did not presume to come to you. But say the word, and let my servant be healed.
8 For I too am a man set under authority, with soldiers under me: and I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes; and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”
9 When Jesus heard these things, he marveled at him, and turning to the crowd that followed him, said, “I tell you, not even in Israel have I found such faith.”
10 And when those who had been sent returned to the house, they found the servant well.
Matthew 5:13, 14 NIV
13 You are the salt of the earth.
14 You are the light of the world.
Matthew 5:16 NIV
16 …let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
Luke 15:17-19 NIV
17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!
18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.
19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’
John 5:30 NLT
30 I can do nothing on my own.
Matthew 3:17 NIV
17 This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.
2 Corinthians 5:14-17 NLT
14 Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life.
15 He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them.
16 So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now!
17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!