What’s it like to pray like a three year old?
I was at a church-related conference not too long ago, which included people from very divergent faith traditions. It was fascinating to just listen as these earnest people danced theological circles around each other. They were definitely not asking the question, “How can we learn to pray like a three year old?”
Actually, the display of Bible scholarship and expertise was phenomenal. I didn’t even know what some of the words meant. They had an explanation and a name for everything.
In one sense, all this Biblical knowledge was very inspiring. These folks were hungry for the Word of God and in all sincerity wanted to understand what God has revealed in the Bible. And they dissected it into tiny little bits, down to the nuances of the meanings of words in the original Greek and Hebrew.
But in a funny sort of way, it was just a bit arrogant. Not in a proud boastful way, but in the sense that many of them felt their scholarship gave them a better understanding of things, that they knew exactly what a certain Bible verse meant or what the “correct” theological concepts were. That somehow, by their much learning, they were getting closer to God.
The Spirit reveals
This reminds me of what Paul says,
But as it is written:
“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.
But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. 1 Corinthians 2:9, 10 NKJV
And as I say, there was a wonderful sense of brotherly love and mutual respect in all this, but the whole experience really made me reconsider my approach to my faith.
The knowledge acquired and assimilated by man, as amazing as it may be, cannot equal the revelations of truth directly from God. But that hasn’t stopped mankind from trying to figure things out through human reasoning, century after century.
I’m not trying to say Bible scholarship isn’t important. There is much we can learn from it. But, in and of itself, it’s not enough for salvation, for knowing and having a relationship with God.
Saved by grace, not theology
I imagine both the Pharisees and Sadducees in Jesus’ time thought they had the correct understanding of Jewish theology and tradition, and thought they were closer to God because of it. But their self-proclaimed theological correctness could not be their ticket to heaven.
Spoiler alert: It’s not your theological or Biblical prowess that opens the gates of heaven. We are saved by God’s grace.
We are all too easily impressed with, intimidated by, or perhaps disagree with, the biblical knowledge and scholarship, or sometimes the personality, of a religious leader.
Sometimes we’re impressed with our own knowledge.
Even some of Jesus’s own apostles thought they had a better grasp of things and deserved a better place in heaven than the rest of the Twelve. Remember when James and John’s mother came to Jesus and asked if her two sons could have a special place on either side of Jesus in his kingdom? The other ten disciples were not too happy about that. (See Matthew 20:20-24)
Jesus loved children’s humility and receptivity
It’s not how smart you are or how smart you think you are, how much you think you understand the Bible and complicated theological ideas, that get you into heaven.
Jesus says, in fact, just the opposite. It’s about being humble and receptive as a little child.
Let’s face it, to the degree you think you know everything, you aren’t receptive to any ideas that disagree with your own. I speak from many years of experience of thinking I was “right” theologically on any number of topics. But in the process I had almost entirely neglected that childlike quality of receptivity to new ideas, new ways of looking at things.
During the last 15 or 20 years, in realizing I didn’t always have to be right, have opened me up to listening better to those I disagree with or who agree with me but express an idea differently. Surprise, surprise! In being receptive to new viewpoints, I have grown spiritually as a result. I am more certain of God’s love for me.
That doesn’t mean I have compromised my faith and adopted everything everyone else says, but I have become more loving and patient with others and they have felt this love. We’re able to have an honest, open conversation about ideas instead of yelling and screaming in defense of our theological positions.
When I talk about receptivity, I don’t mean being receptive to or being influenced by evil, sinful, worldly temptations. True receptivity means openness to God’s infinite goodness and love.
Think of how little kids are often (not always) receptive to all the good around them. They’re ready for the next fun thing. And they have a sense of joyful expectation of this good.
Children see things adults miss
This sense of childlike expectation of good is a powerful state of mind. And it sees things a grownup attitude misses.
Jesus refers to this in Matthew 11:25
At that time Jesus answered and said, “I thank You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and prudent and have revealed them to babes.”
Childlike receptivity
Let me share an example of this childlike receptivity.
One evening, when my oldest daughter, Virginia, was three, I had just put her down to sleep and was catching my breath from a busy day, when I heard squeals of agony. I ran back to her room and found her clutching her ear, sobbing in pain. The dreaded earache! As a new parent, I’d heard all the stories of how bad it could be.
I picked her up and tried to comfort her, but to no avail. My first response was to pray for healing. I told her I was going to pray for her. But I was fearful and my prayers seemed like empty words.
So I called my spiritual mentor to pray for her, and for me as well. I don’t remember much of what this dear man said to. He could hear the fear in my voice.
But one statement made all the difference. He said, “Her innocence is her protection.”
I was receptive to that idea. I knew she was innocent. She hadn’t done anything to deserve an earache. God was not punishing her.
I went back to her room. She was still crying. I picked her up again and held her close and asked in a soft voice, “Would you like to go downstairs and get some juice?” A very big “Uh huh!” followed.
Now, what you need to know is, this was a big departure from the going-to-bed routine at our house. Once she’d been put to bed, there was no more getting up and asking for a drink. She had a sippy cup of water next to her bed.
Receptivity to good
So, when I asked Virginia if she wanted to go downstairs for some juice, she knew immediately this was a total breach of protocol and what a special treat it was. As I carried her downstairs she was full of expectation.
Talk about receptivity to something good! She had a total shift in what she was thinking about.
After a few sips of juice, I asked her if she would like some milk too. “Uh huh!”
After the milk, did she want some water? “Uh huh!”
The heavens might just as well have opened up and rained down buckets of gold. Virginia was so receptive to all this unexpected good in front of her, she forgot all about the earache. She wasn’t crying any more.
The earache and pain were all gone. She was completely healed and never has had another earache.
Prayer is an amazing thing
I don’t know the details of how my friend prayed. But Virginia and I were both receptive to those prayers.
When I first got off the phone with him and went back into her room, I had no intention of offering her any juice. I had no idea what I was going to say to her. I just went in aware of her innocence in God’s eyes. And God put the right words in my mouth.
It wasn’t the juice that healed her earache. It was God’s love.
Virginia’s receptivity to an unexpected treat illustrates so perfectly the reason Jesus said we have to be like a little child to enter heaven.
She hadn’t done a bunch of careful Bible study. She didn’t have her Doctor of Divinity degree. She was 3 years old for crying out loud. No pun intended. She was literally crying out loud.
She was just receptive to the good that was offered and seized upon it.
Can you pray like a three year old?
This experience reminds me of something Jesus said,
“Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” Mark 10:15 ESV
When you pray, are you relying on your human intellect, your years of Bible study, the sermons you’ve preached or listened to? The books you’ve read, the podcasts you’ve listened to, including mine?
Or are you like a little three year old who is ready to play with the next toy from the box or take the next sip of juice when it’s offered?
One of my favorite Bible passages is from Proverbs
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5, 6 NKJV
We love to quote these two verses, but don’t we all too often still depend on our own understanding, our personal and intellectual grasp of biblical ideas?
We should pray less like adults, with all our knowledge, and pray more like a three year old.
Just for a moment, imagine what it was like when you were three. How did you pray when you were three, if you did?
Or think of someone you know who is three. How do they talk? How do they act? How do they pray?
A three year old can be an endless patter of needs, observations, silliness, thoughtful reflections, and spontaneous expressions of love. They are confident that you, as the parent, are always listening and interested in what they have to say. And that you’ll give them what they need.
Do you ever talk to God that way, asking for what you need however big or small, with the absolute assurance that He is listening to you at all times and ready to help you when needed?
Go back to being three – or rather the mental attitude you had when you were three – and pray from that point of view. In your best three year old voice, just talk to God. Ask Him questions. Listen for the answers. Have a conversation.
Yes, you can pray like a three year old
Hi God. It’s me.
How are You?
What’re You doing today?
What’s Your favorite color?
Could You please help me not be afraid of the monsters under my bed?
Okay, thanks.
See You later.
It doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s not supposed to be complicated. Jesus wants us to pray as little children. He wants us to see through the eyes of a child, and live with the innocence, purity, receptivity to good, and trust kids have.
Okay, stop thinking of those kids who are the exceptions. We all know three year-olds who are far from angelic.
But you know what I’m talking about. You know what Jesus is talking about. Don’t go down the rabbit hole of finding excuses not to do what Jesus tells you to do, to be like a little child.
The prayer of receptivity that a three year old has, may seem like a simple little thing and not adequate for all the challenges you’re dealing with.
You may think you are too mature for that.
But it’s really a way of seeing the world, a way of living in expectation of good. A way of complete trust in God to take care of you and meet all your needs.
It is powerful attitude in prayer that opens the windows of heaven right here and now.
I encourage you to give yourself permission to pray like a three year old.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
James Early is a Bible teacher, speaker, and podcaster and conducts Bible workshops online and in person. His focus is on getting back to the original Christianity of Jesus by embracing the mindset of Christ in daily life. Contact him here.
Bible references in this episode:
1 Corinthians 2:9, 10 NKJV
9 But as it is written:
“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.
10 But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit.
Matthew 20:20-24 NKJV
20 Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons came to Him with her sons, kneeling down and asking something from Him.
21 And He said to her, “What do you wish?” She said to Him, “Grant that these two sons of mine may sit, one on Your right hand and the other on the left, in Your kingdom.”
22 But Jesus answered and said, “You do not know what you ask. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?” They said to Him, “We are able.”
23 So He said to them, “You will indeed drink My cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with; but to sit on My right hand and on My left is not Mine to give, but it is for those for whom it is prepared by My Father.”
24 And when the ten heard it, they were greatly displeased with the two brothers.
Matthew 11:25 NKJV
25 At that time Jesus answered and said, “I thank You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and prudent and have revealed them to babes.”
Mark 10:15 ESV
“Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”
Proverbs 3:5, 6 NKJV
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.
